P Logomorphs

Paedocide:  Taking care of the next generation by nipping it in the bud.

Phonesia: Dialing a phone number and then suddenly forgetting who you’ve just called.

Platitudinarianism:  The sentimentalizing of all issues and conflicts; the gospel of nice.

Pornodoxy:  A new standard of truth confirmed by a perversiarchy.

Pornutopia:  The end result of an ACLU lawsuit.

Pow-woo:  A carefully choreographed diplomatic photo-op; a political version of “less filling-tastes great.”

Pox Americana:  The process of inflicting the worst of American pop culture on the rest of the world.

Pseudocracy:  The false illusion of magistratal order and cogency.

Psychosophism:  The bizarre religious sophistry propounded by psychotherapists.

Pucknuckler: A fight at a hockey game.

Pundictatorship:  The absolute rule of a land by the media pundits.

More P Logomorphs

Paedophobia:  An oddly modern antipathy toward children.

Perversiarchy:  A reprobate society governed by those committed to concupiscence.

Peterpantheism:  An environmentalist dogma that refuses to face facts or to grow up.

Pharmer:  A drug lord.

Piccasso Porn:  The images from scrambled adult cable channels.

Pietoid:  An adherent of Pietism; the opposite of someone committed to true piety.

Pluriscuity:  The promiscuous vision of radical pluralism that claims an equal standing for truth and error.

Politism:  The ideology that places governmentalism at the center of all things.

Pornocracy:  A debauched culture ruled first and foremost by its sensual impulses.

Promise Peepers:  Men who attend evangelical rallies, conventions, and crusades just to see what is going on; ethical lurkers.

Psychoprattle:  The pop psychological chit-chat that passes for intelligent analysis in our day.

O Logomorphs

Obaminable: Declaring as right what is undeniably wrong; post-modern bully pulpit.

Obstropulous: Seeming to be helpful while really making things more difficult.

Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake, like accidentally sending a personal e-mail to everyone in the office.

Olibarky: Cranky, patronizing, and oh-so-pious sermonizing from the modern politically-correct elite.

OMG-iddy: Effusive enthusing on social networking sites.

Omnimoral:  The modern moralistic indifference to morality; Episcopalian ethics.

Onomatimusic: Music that actually is as bad as it sounds (with a tip of the hat to Wagner).

Oranter: The blurring of the distinction between oratory and a temper tantrum; a cable TV talk show host.

Oreosis: Eating the icing center of an Oreo before eating the cookie outside.

Osteopornosis: A disease of degeneracy.

Ozombied: Inhaling the rarefied air of the environmentalist ideologue.

N Logomorphs

Naftathoughts:  Lingering doubts about the economic and cultural benefits of the North American Free Trade Agreements.

Namenesia: Inexplicably forgetting the name of someone you know very well.

Nanachronym: Those instantly ubiquitous internet and texting abbreviations;

Narceclessia: A sleep disorder that afflicts modern Christians causing cultural detachment and irrelevance in times of grave societal danger; the church asleep in the light.

Nefariography: A biography of a notorious villain; the opposite of Hagiography.

Negalicious: Distasteful, nasty, and disgusting; the opposite of delicious and nutritious; American fast food.

Nehemiad: A bold declaration of encouragement, blessing, and optimism; the opposite of a woeful Jeremiad.

Nephitism: The bizarre historiographical and sociological claims of Mormonism that underlie its equally bizarre cultus.

Nerb: A noun misappropriated in a sentence as a verb.

Netnyet: A web search yielding only irrelevant and unrelated data; an information technology dead-end.

Newsertainment:  The reduction of broadcast and cable television news to mere entertainment.

M Logomorphs

Maastwrecked: The mess that the European Economic Community and the New World Order have made of Europe.

Machiavalium:  Political narcotics dispensed in an effort to control the people.

Macjob:  A mindless, tasteless, and valueless task undertaken merely for money.

Maledictaphobia:  A fear of saying anything offensive or negative even in the face of dire wickedness.

Mirthgirth: All that extra weight gained over the holidays.

Monkeythump: A bruise on a banana.

Monolatry:  A form of single-diety idolatry; the generic worship of the “Great Architect,” the “Divine Force,” or the “Big Guy Upstairs.”

Mopneutaxes: The current administration's economic plan in a nutshell.

Moscowrena:  The never-ending dance craze of totalitarian appeasement.

Multimediocrity:  The proliferation and diversification of brain candy in the media.

Mustbuster:  A cultural warrior specializing in the reversal of ethical necessities.

L Logomorphs

Legalossolalia:  The strangely unintelligable “tongues” spoken only by lawyers.

Libnet:  The symbiotic network of fringe-left media, academia, and government that infests Washington's corridors of power.

Limbaughtomy:  The surgical removal of welfare-state piffle, drivel, and swill; performed by transmitted airwaves.

Litegeist:  The substantivelessness of American pop culture.

Lithurgy:  The wholesale denigration of tradition, glory, and substance in modern evangelical worship; the malady of lethargic liturgy.

Loathesome Dove:  The confidential military designation for what one two-star general called its “gay-loving, pot-smoking, draft-dodging, womanizing commander-in-chief.”

Loglo:  The nighttime reflection of franchise signs along an urban American freeway.

Logogogues:  Politically-correct speech police.

Logomorph:  A neologism.

Logonutriphilos:  A consuming love for words.


Lugurgitation: Luggage popping out onto the baggage claim belt at the airport.

K Logomorphs

Kahootenany: Reposting un-Snopesed silliness on the internet.

Kanoodledoodle: Whiling the hours away on sundry social media sites.

Kantankerosity: The inclination to argue about anything, to snark about everything.

Kavorked: To be on the receiving end of legalized euthanasia.

Kerfufflefluffle: A fierce controversy over nothing; a mountain out of a molehill; majoring on the minors and minoring on the majors. 

Keypal: An internet friend; a thoroughly modern version of the penpal.

Kidnapkining: Grabbing too many napkins at a fast-food restaurant.

Klutzietgiest: An awkward, clumsy, and comic culture.

Knolltroll: An unrecalcitrant conspiratorialist. 

Kultursmog: The smothering uniformity of pop culture's amoral morals.

Kwanhanamas: Kwanza plus Hanukkah plus Christmas; thus, the politically correct “Happy Kwanhanamas!” 

J Logomorphs

Jabberjockey: Radio talk show host.

Jargonauts:  The elites who steer the course of our language; logogogues.

Jaundaucracy: A culture devoid of courage; a society led by men without chests.

Jeopardous: Risky business; hazardous behavior.

Jiggywidget: A faddish doo-dad or dig-bat or thingamajig.

Jiterati:  A subset of the cultural elite; the professional whiners and worriers.

Jocosiation: A ridiculous or hilarious assocation.

Journalying:  The tendency of modern journalists to tell their story the way the want to tell it, regardless of the facts.

Judicaricature: A mockery of justice.

Jurasic Lark:  The revival of social-democratic ideals and power; the primordial dream of liberal social planners to make every aspect of life subservient to government.

Jurisfaction: Preferential and divisive legal proceedings 

I Logomorphs

Ideolatry:  The idolatrous worship of ideology.

Iducation:  The self-centered psychologicalization of modern secular education.

IMglish: The special abbreviated, acronymic language of instant messaging, sms, and texting: omg, lol, bff, btw, cya, galgal, igbok, etc.

Impuritan:  The modern ethical paradox: the new morality of immorality.

Indignatary:  A culturo-political celebrity who has built a career and a reputation on feigned moral outrage.

Infobahn:  The web’s information super-highway.

Intaxication: Gleeful celebration upon getting a tax refund--which only lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Intelligentry:  The shallow and insipid intellectual and cultural elite at American universities.

Iraqnaphobia:  An inordinate fear of third world tin-pot dictators.

Irritainment:  Deliberately distasteful and annoying entertainment.

iWant: The irresistible temptation that overcomes even the strongest constitution whenever Apple releases a new iGadget.

H Logomorphs

Heretickle:  Popular falsehoods that are happily accommodated for the sake of church growth.

Heterodoctor:  A thoroughly modern and politically-correct university professor.

Hillarious:  A silly, shallow, superfluous, and statisfucating worldview.

Histonarcolepsy:  Sleep-walking through history.

Historectomy:  The surgical removal of any historical perspective from contemporary discussions.

Hollywired:  The marriage of the computer and entertainment industries.

Homodoxy:  The new homosexual orthodoxy taught in America’s schools

Homophilia:  Trendy depravity.

Homotextuality:  The awkward and preposterous androgyny of the new gender-neutral literary style.

Hyphenectomy:  The removal of superfluous punctuation from the last names of the thoroughly modern.

Hypocritics:  Liberals who criticize conservatives who cave into the pluralistic pressure of liberals.

G Logomorphs

Gadaboutag: An orphan HTML tag that's misdirects your web searches.

Garpage:  The editorial page of virtually all daily metropolitan newspapers; often useful, however, for the bottoms of bird cages.

Generica:  The smothering uniformity of pop American culture.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high on a bridge or a building.

Gleemail: Those inspirational emails forwarded by a friend or coworker that may or may not bring joy to your inbox.

Glibido: The impulse of someone who is all talk and no action.

Gliterati:  The high-faluting cultural elite.

Gobweb:  A catch-all internet site.

Googlegänger: Some other person who shares your name and who shows up when you google yourself.

Governrants:  The frequent—and ever increasing—lectures from Big Brother.

Gynodoxy:  The fundamentalist creed of a modern feminist ideology.

F Logomorphs

Fascinate:  Enthusiasm for consolidating all of society and culture into the hands of Big Government and Big Business—the tell-tale signs of Mercantilism (aka National Socialism).

Fascindustrialism:  Cooperative monopolization between the public and private sectors; “It’s the economy, stupid.”

Fauxment:  An artificial controversy; the stock and trade of TV news.

Fauxpolitiks:  The dismal reduction of political discourse to the trite, the picayune, and the vapid.

Fawnics:  The most basic Washington posture of political celebrity adulation.

Fetalphobia:  Fear of children—often resulting in the “Disposable Tissue Syndrome,” or DTS.

Fiburnation:  The tactic of double-speak, reversals, and outright lying from our DC pals and pols.

Fictatation: Talking back to the TV.

Firmamentalist:  Someone gripped by the modern credulity complex; lost in the Post-Modernist cosmos of bad ideas and metaphysical monkeyshines.

Fornigate:  The latest in the never-ending string of Washington scandals.

Fraudian Slip:  A round-about admission of untruthfulness.

E Logomorphs

Ecclesiophobia:  An inordinate fear of anything and everything to do with the church or people from the church actually getting involved in our communities.

Ecnalubma: A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

Ecologian:  A theologian whose worldview is dominated by the world.

Ecominous:  The doomsaying vision of pessimistic economists.

Econausea:  One possible side-effect of an over-exposure to sundry environmentalists' greenspeak and eco-babble scare tactics.

Econtrivance:  A manipulation of the economic mechanism for political ends.

Ecstatology:  The tendency of some Christians to allow ecstatic concern about the "End Times" to distract them from their responsibilities.

Eekonomics:  The frightening financial projections of doom-and-gloom economists.

Elbonics:  The sometimes not so subtle maneuvering of two people for one armrest in a on an airplane.

Elleceleration:  Pressing an elevator button over and over again in an attempt to make it arrive quicker.

Elvistibule:  A small shrine to the King of Rock and Roll—complete with velvet portrait and Avon commemorative collectibles.

Even More E Logomorphs

Empty-Vee:  The vapid contentlessness and valuelessness of current TV programming.

Environmentia:  A worldview dominated by whatever the latest ideological rant may be.

Errstats:  Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Establishmentality:  The inability to think beyond accepted institutional/ideological parameters.

Ethoplegic:  A malady that suddenly paralyzes the ethical scruples of elected  officials once they arrive in Washington.

Europa Nervosa:  A condition resulting from the geo-political instability of Europe.

Europhoria:  The ecstatic mirth that centralizing politicians exude over the possibility of saving the economies and bureaucracies of a united Europe.

Evangeneric:  The bland mainstream of American civil religion.

Evangerenity:  An ethically suspect mish-mash of Evangelical Christianity and Twelve-Step serenity pop-psycho-babble.

E-Vangelist:  A proselytizing internet enthusiast.

Exaspirin: A child-proof medicine bottle that proves to be very nearly adult-proof as well.

D Logomorphs

Datadiddling:  The digital manipulation of facts.

Deatherapy:  The medicalization of murder.

Demigraphics: A poorly composed, wretchedly distracting PowerPoint presentation.

Demockeracy:  Making a mockery of constitutional freedoms and liberties in the name of constitutional freedoms and liberties.

Designosaurs:  Perpetuators of bad, out-dated design.

Destinesia: Arriving at a destination but having forgotten why you went in the first place.

Dipsomanagerial:  The insatiable, often periodic craving of government functionaries to micro-manage rather than macro-lead in the face of a cultural crisis.

Disconfect:  To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of ridiculous ideas to gain currency simply because they are repeatedly, incessantly broadcast over the airwaves.

Dyspecia:  An anti-human bias among certain social scientists.

Dyspensensationalism:  A manically dystopic, feverishly sensational  eschatology.

C Logomorphs

Cacophantasy:  The noisome notions of mindless debauchery that pass for “having a good time” among the young and restless.

Celefeign:  Someone who is famous for being famous—a celebrity with no discernable talent.

Cleresy:  Religious error perpetrated under the cloak of respectible clerical authority.

Codependustry:  The therapeutic industry that has been built up around the specious notions of pop-psychology.

Compascism:  Coercive pseudo-compassion—another name for our failing and flailing welfare system.

Consciousness razing:  The curious practice of defiling young minds through modern educational innovations.

Copapathetic:  Blithe acceptance of the tragic and the pathetic.

Cornea Gumbo:  Topological or graphical gobbledy-gook—eye candy.

Correctigensia:  The self-appointed enforcers of Political Correctness—the mind-fashion police.

Cyberbarian:  A high tech barbarian.

Cyberpork:  Government subsidies of high tech industries.

B Logomorphs

Begathon:  Online, Cable TV, or Radio fund-raiser—a guilt and pity party.

Bitnik:  A hyper-hip computer nerd—the postmodern version of a beatnik.

Blandiose:  A grandiose blandness—a seemingly incurable malady that afflicts the minds of politicians on both sides of the aisle.

Blamestorming:  The modern rant of Facebook rants and talk radio call-in shows.

Bloatocratic:  The ever expanding bureaucracy in Washington.

Blockbluster:  The hype surrounding many a Hollywood dud.

Bloodba’ath:  The mode of political operation in the Middle East where Islamicists and Ba’athists scramble for absolute control.

Blurbonic Plague:  The static inclination of the media to edit down political sound-bites into even smaller nuggets for popular mass consumption.

Bozon:  an isolated example of stupidity—a single unit or particle of dim-wittedness.

Brutalitarianism:  A brutal regulatory governmental regime that interferes with virtually every aspect of life.

Bureausaurus:  Lifetime appointments to the professional federal ruling class.

A Logomorphs

Academentia: The pathogenic moral and intellectual epidemic that currently ravages most politically-correct campuses.

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Adhocracy:  The modern tendency to govern on the basis of whim rather than on the basis of law—especially evident in the rulings of federally appointed judicial activists.

Affluential: To shamelessly utilize great wealth for personal political aggrandizement—all in the name of “the people” or “the owners of the country.”

Agoraphopolitica:  A fear of political involvement—a peculiar psychotic manifestation of the "evangelical ghetto" ethos.

Ambiguography:  The Washington and Hollywood puff-piece inclination to omit all salient questions of substance, qualification, and character in their hagiographical celebrity profiles.

Anthropocide:  An odd habit practiced by advanced societies to insure their ultimate extinction—the slaying of our progeny.

Anthropophobia:  An inveterate and consuming fear of all things human--despising the comforts and joys of civilization.

Anti-semantic:  The refusal of liberal humanists to define terms in any significant debate--cultural, political, moral, or economic.

Aquadextrous:  Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Auldlanxiety:  The woe-begotten longing for fifties-style traditional values—as opposed to ageless Biblical values.

Man as Thinker